George Washington and the Alien

By 6th Grade Students at Kennedy Middle School, Village E
May 2012

The alien stood by its spaceship. George Washington watched. The alien was tiny, only a foot tall, but very fat. And it was hot pink. The alien had a bushy mustache and wore blue jeans. It held a Mac Book Pro. It also wore a black turtleneck sweater.

The spaceship was android green and shaped like an apple. It was twenty feet tall. George was suspicious about this ship and this alien. Why would it be here and so obviously trying to appeal to his love for apples?

The alien smelled like an outhouse, which George Washington sort of liked. He liked to go to the bathroom because he tended to drink a lot of fluids.

While he had done a bit of time travel in his day, he had no experience with aliens. However, he thought that this roly-poly little creature would be squishy and smooshie to the touch. The spaceship reminded him of that twentieth-century substance known as Styrofoam. He really wanted to touch it to be sure.

George had the sense that the alien didn’t realize it had been seen by him. The creature was watching him and moving around as if it was casing the area. But the little alien did not make eye contact or give any indication that it thought George was aware of it.  The alien’s little feet tapped as they walked.

Strangely, the ship itself was quacking—very loudly. Could the ship be alive? Or was this the sound of its motor. The alien was also crunching on some sort of food that looked a lot like those Cheetos from the future, only they were dark blue. He had a feeling that those Cheetoey things would taste like pizza—something he had never developed a taste for.

All of a sudden, the alien started to burp, but the burping had the cadence of a language. That was when George realized that the alien had seen him and wanted to communicate. George needed a way to communicate back. He activated his time-travel device and traveled extensively till he found more burping aliens.  To his horror, they had taken over earth in the 10,000th century. He found a translation manuscript and spent months memorizing it.

When he was done, he traveled back to that same moment. George was relieved that the alien was still frozen where he left it. Time started up again.

George now knew that the alien had said, “I am going to kill you with my unicorns.”

“Why?” George asked in burp.

The alien burped, “In my past life, you ate the last slice of pizza and I starved to death. Now, in this life I am going to kill you back!”

George felt a little sad and a lot scared because of this situation. His fear made him call his pet hippo, Tomy, to protect him. Tomy snorted as he barreled toward George.

Then Martha, George’s wife, ran out of their house. “What kind of trickery might this be? You, wastrel, have overstayed your welcome. Thou be gone lest I smite you with my mighty wig!”

George Washington quickly translated into burp.

The alien ran to its ship and returned with seven llamas and a very surprised expression. George wondered if llamas were called unicorns in the burp world, but he didn’t think so since he had studied the language so carefully. He decided that the alien was as surprised as he was to have llamas instead of unicorns.

The llamas started talking, but it sounded like gibberish.

George took out the iPhone4 that he had picked up on his travels and surprisingly had service. He talked to the virtual assistant who helped him with a web search where he found a google translation for llama. He found out that the llamas said, “We are going to kill you now!”

George Washington did feel bad about the alien’s plight.  However, he had a country to run, and he was a soldier. He could not indulge himself with sympathy. Using the google translator, he managed to convince the llamas to turn on the alien. They went after the little creature, and the last George saw was that the little alien was running for its life with the llamas in hot pursuit. . .

The “Cliffhanger” End.

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