Raj, the Unicorn, and the Alien

By 6th Grade Students at Kennedy Middle School, Village F
May 2012

The alien stood by its spaceship. Raj the unicorn, watched. Raj had magically teleported himself to Mars. The first thing he saw when he landed was this alien with its ship.

The alien was huge, at least ten feet tall, and it wore olive green armor. It looked scary. The creature took off its helmet. Underneath it had neon pink skin and a beard that went to its knees. The beard was made of flowers. Raj thought that if he touched the alien’s cheek it would feel as smooth as metal. Though the alien’s armor scared Raj it also looked soft and fuzzy like cotton.

The spaceship was shaped like a bunny. It actually looked as if the alien would ride on top as if on a motorcycle holding the ears as handles. The bunny ship looked as if it was made out of old gummy bears. He loved gummy bears but not expired ones. Plus, he was stuffed to his horn right now.

The alien stank like rainbow sprinkles. Raj hated the smell, so chemically and deadlike. However, he loved the sound the alien was making. The alien sang. It was a random song, but very nice. The alien’s voice was not too high, nor too low. It was just right.

The alien was munching on tacos. The unicorn groaned. Tacos were disgusting! In his experience they had meat inside, and he was a vegetarian. Ugh, how gross!

Raj was intrigued by the alien’s mouth and throat. It was a tube, and as the food went in, music came out! Could the alien sing without eating? Raj couldn’t tell.

The alien saw Raj. Its eyes grew wide and it let out an excited yelp. It ran up to Raj, who backed up a few paces.

“I am so excited to see you!” it said. “I am a huge fan! You are such a rock star!”

Raj had no idea what it was talking about. But Raj was really scared. He thought the alien was trying to terrorize him. He bowed down, lifted his head, made a huge retching noise, barfed up all his rainbow magic, and transformed into the entire Kardashian clan. Kim threw her five-inch high heels at the alien. The spike thumped into the alien’s armor, going all the way through its chest. The armor broke and revealed its skin. The injured skin was neon blue.

The Kardashians began to sing a pop song that they loved. They sounded AWESOME! They had a plan. If they sang as a group, then the alien would no longer think they were that pop star. It would leave them alone.

However, the alien began to dance and as it danced it said, “OMG! They’re such good singers!”

The Kardashians knew that to be true, but they would not say the same about the alien’s dancing. It was awful! They were bummed though because the alien was still acting like a fan. That got them mad. They did what they always did when they were mad. They cooked sushi, of course vegetarian and fat free.

The alien cried, “Oh that smells so good and looks so yummy.” It plunged and grabbed all the sushi, quickly eating it and drinking the soy sauce. It sang all the way.

Then it saw the Kardashians’ expressions and ran! It tripped and rolled down a hill. The Kardashian clan had followed and watched from above. As one, the Kardashian clan began to pelt the alien with stones made of diamonds.

The alien screamed, “I need help!”

Suddenly a billion aliens arrived all dressed in armor. But they all had different beards, some were flowers, others grass.

Boy, the Kardashians thought, now they were really angry. They pulled their bows off their backs and started to shoot arrows at the aliens. Kourtney started bumping aliens with her pregnant belly.

Suddenly, the Kardashians changed their plans, they bowed as one, raised their heads to the sky, barfed a double rainbow, and poofed into one ball of light. It rose and then gently descended to land on the ground. Then it disappeared, leaving behind a frizzy red clown afro wig.

The wig used teleportation magic and called the worst singer in the galaxy to Mars. It landed on the singer’s head and the unicorn/Kardashian/wig possessed the singer. The singer was one of the Wiggles. The Wiggles creature burrowed into the core of Mars and he began to sing. The noise came out from every nook and cranny in Mars, amplifying it a thousand fold. He thought this would work. The noise caused the ground to shake. Everything vibrated. The aliens blew off Mars.

The wig teleported the horrible Wiggles singer back to Earth. Still on Mars, it made a funny bow, turned its frizzy hair to the sky and barfed up a rainbow hairball. It morphed back into the unicorn. Raj watched the aliens disappear in the sky.

The End.

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