By 6th Grade Students at Kennedy Middle School, Village C
May 2012
The alien stood by its spaceship. Bob, the unicorn, watched. Bob had seen this alien before. He had deduced that the alien loved to watch grass grow because the alien would stand for hours and hours just watching grass.
The alien was short and fat. It was clearly a Dagobodian. It was a dirty greenish-brown with pink spots. The spaceship floated next to the alien. It was hot pink and shaped liked a really weird jellyfish. The unicorn thought the spaceship would feel like green beans – it looked bubbly and plasticky. On the other hoof, the alien looked as soft as a pancake. Bob though it would be easy to skewer and that it was hollow in the inside.
The unicorn breathed in deeply. The Dagobodian smelled lovely, just like fresh diarrhea.
The alien was screaming at a very high pitch, just like one of those fat ladies such as the unicorn’s human mom. The ship was making very loud farting noises. Each time it farted, something that looked like baked beans would eject from what appeared to be its engine.
All of a sudden the alien stopped staring at the grass and instead took a large bite out of the jelly-ish spaceship. The unicorn thought it would taste a lot like baked beans. Baked beans tasted like brownies to him and he hated the taste of chocolate.
When the alien turned back toward the grass, it finally saw the unicorn. It let out a blood-curdling, gutteral scream. Bob felt its fury. The alien reached down and pulled out a chainsaw and rushed toward Bob.
Bob made a heap of chocolate appear and levitated it to float toward the alien. The alien paused, screamed once again like a fat lady and poofed into a roly-poly fairy whose head was bigger than its body. It began to cram grass into its mouth.
OMG! The unicorn thought. This was sacred unicorn ground. He felt shocked, appalled and angry. This alien was SO in trouble!
The nearby jade unicorn sacred statue began to change. Smoke came billowing out. Then the statue grew and came to life. It was Unithor, the mighty god of unicorns. Bob knelt on his front legs. His horn began to glow. And then Bob began to fart rainbows. He turned his head to look. That was new. He’d never done that before.
Meanwhile, the fairy still hadn’t noticed anything and continued to chomp on the grass.
Suddenly Bob’s farts changed. This time he farted Nyancat the famous Pop Tart cat. Nyancat also farted rainbows.
Nyancat yelled,”I am not an orange!” He crouched and then pounced on the alien fairy.
The cat and the fairy fought, rolling on the grass, closing in on the edge of the cliff. Suddenly they fell over the edge, the cat clutching the alien fairy’s wings and covering its face.
The unicorn raced to the edge and saw them tumble into a rushing river below. A giant fart made the unicorn look over his shoulder. He saw the large jelly-fish spaceship zoom up into the sky. Clearly it was ditching the alien, now fairy, who had fallen into the river. Bob didn’t blame it since the alien had bitten into it. Now there was just Bob and the mighty Unithor.
Bob took a deep breath and tackled Unithor, “Why did you have to make me fart all the time? I hate it!”
Unithor easily broke away from Bob’s puny tackle. He turned his back on Bob and farted in his face. A large rainbow grew over Bob and then the pot of gold at the end fell on Bob’s head. Conk!
Just then a drunken yet pretty hobo staggered over. The unicorn really liked the hobo’s wart. The hobo burst into song, singing “Poker Face”.
Ick, thought Bob. He did not like that song. Without thinking, Bob kicked out against the song. The hobo got caught in the gut and flew into the air and over the cliff.
Unithor began to chuckle. “Wow, that was silly. You are one silly unicorn, Bob!”
That made Bob really mad. He held his breath and poofed himself into a large purple hulk and smashed into Unithor.
From out of the blue Snoopy arrived and broke up the fight. Snoopy clearly was unhappy with all the fighting. As Bob the hulk watched, Snoopy rescued everyone from the water and sent them all home.
The End.
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